Wrestle Jam 5 Report from Ringgold on May 25

From Sean Thompson: God where to start with this one. Well, I was told to be brutally honest, so I will be BRUTALLY honest. Here w...
From Sean Thompson:

God where to start with this one. Well, I was told to be brutally honest, so I will be BRUTALLY honest. Here we go.

My estimate of the attendance at the Colonnade Civic Center was .400-500.

First off doors were supposed to open at 5pm and they didn’t open them till nearly 530pm. The fan fest was fun as I got to meet Ricky “The Dragon" Steamboat.

After a Hall of Fame ceremony that saw Paul Orndorff get inducted by Ricky the Dragon Steamboat, and Tracy Smothers get inducted by Paul Lee, the show started with Steamboat welcoming everybody to Wrestlejam 5. He was promptly interrupted by the AWF Tag Team Champions. Brian Valor and Alex Taylor. They attacked Steamboat, who fended them off and got a "you still got it" chant in the process. Teddy Long came out and told Valor and Taylor that they had a tag match for their belts later on against Crimson and JP Magnum.


Match 1 - King Shane Williams (with Queen Taylor) vs. Mike Jackson

Old school style by Jackson. Shane had some good offense. Williams’ valet didn’t well with the with ref distractions. Williams had the ref distracted while Jackson was on the outside and Queen never touched him. She also missed a couple of queues like distracting the ref too early. She is nothing but eye candy. Williams finished Jackson with a piledriver while the ref was distracted. I don’t know why a ref distraction was needed there, but it is what it is.

Ryback came out to address the crowd and said he had shoulder surgery and can’t perform he got interrupted by Teddy Long, who asked if Ryback booked the show. Paul Lee interrupted and had audio trouble (The start of what would the worst audio in wrestling history.) Paul said Ryback was scared to face “the Real Nature Boy” and proceeded to elbow drop his jacket. This guy tries so hard to be Flair even in promos. Ryback called him out on it and said people call him a Goldberg wannabe but Paul Lee takes impersonation to a whole new level. Ryback then said since he can’t wrestle he had a surprise opponent for Paul in the main event.

Match 2 - Battle Royal

Tracy Smothers won this horrible 6 man, yes I said 6 man Battle Royal, thank God it was short. This was complete crap and chaos that served no purpose whatsoever.

Match 3 - The Jungle Kings (Lex Lee and Kevin Kaufman) vs. The Boys (Brent & Brandon Tate) from ROH.

Lots of fast paced spots in this one. They did a funny spot where everyone got body slammed by Kevin, only for him to be body slammed by the ref who went for a cover on one of The Boys and got a 2 count via Lex counting. Jungle Kings won with the Katy Perry (yes you read that right their finishing move is called the Katy Perry). Kind of an awesome name if you ask me.

Match 4 - Vader vs. Ironman

Vader tried talking on the mic only to have more audio problems. Vader issued an open challenge accepted by Ironman who has horrible ring attire, a welder's mask and a blacksmith apron. This was also complete crap, just horrible. I have all the respect in the world for Vader and his career, but he does not need to be in a ring at this point. Vader over with a Vader Bomb. I’m glad this was short.

Match 5 - Brian Valor and Alex Taylor vs. Crimson and JP Magnum

Crimson was the best part of this otherwise short and terrible match. It was a showcase of what not to do in the ring. Taylor’s timing was off on everything and he looked like he had no clue what he was doing, although I will admit Valor does have a beautiful frog splash. Valor and Taylor retained the titles after shenanigans behind the back of the ref.

Match 6 - Paul Lee vs. Buff Bagwell (with Robbie Rude)

Typical Paul Lee match. This guy is horrible in every sense of the word. It showed that Buff is past his prime, slow as the day is long in the ring. The only good thing about this match was Lee's top rope Flair bump through a table. Buff over after a distraction from Ryback.

Main Event - "Tokyo Monster" Kahangas vs Fly Guy for the AWF World Championship

How can you be a world champion if you don’t defend the title anywhere but Ringgold, Georgia? Kahangas beat Fly Guy down on the ropes for a good 30 seconds, how was it not a DQ This match was garbage. There should have been a DQ countless times. Fly Guy over with a moonsault. Kahangas attacked Fly Guy after the match.

All in all this show was complete crap and a waste of money. The only good thing that came from this was I got to mark out for Steamboat and The Boys. The audio was lousy all night long. The only good match was The Jungle Kings vs The Boys. The in-house commentary by L.P. Hamm and his associate was atrocious and if I never hear “Oh Hamm Yeah” again I will be happy.
Name

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Georgia Wrestling History: Wrestle Jam 5 Report from Ringgold on May 25
Wrestle Jam 5 Report from Ringgold on May 25
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Georgia Wrestling History
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