The REAL Wrestling Network Part Deux

From Velvet Jones: Holy potatoes! The public has spoken! I guess you guys didn’t wanna wait until Thursday huh? Okay, alright, set...

From Velvet Jones:

Holy potatoes! The public has spoken! I guess you guys didn’t wanna wait until Thursday huh? Okay, alright, settle down people. I heard you loud and clear.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah…..

This show happened in 2006. When I got there, one of the first people I saw were The Warfield Brothers. These guys had always carried themselves as professionals. For everything Randy Ward told us about this show, the one thing he didn’t mention was that it was gonna be held in a barn. And not one of those small ones, one of those big ass barns that are used for rodeo meets and what-not. The Warfields took one look at the place, got in their cars, and went home. When me and the crew I followed up there got to the barn, the first person I saw was Randy. The guy was all smiles. So lemme paint the picture for you:

The “Classic Car Show” that Randy had advertised featured one car. No, that is not a misprint – ONE FREAKING CAR!!! The car looked like either it had been restored or kept up very well. Nonetheless, it was just shuttled into its own little space inside of this HUGE barn. The Elvis impersonator came on and did his thing. There’s a part of me that says the guy might have been Nigel Sherrod. Even so, his did his part and did it well. That was probably the only thing that Randy delivered on all night.

I was on a roll in my young career at the time. I’d won both the GIWA Mid-State and FWF Internet championships within the last four months. I was new to the business, still green, and gullible as fuck. Randy had a few trophies set up on a table near the entrance with a huge trophy in the middle. Randy told me that I was gonna not win the RWN championship, but I would receive the big trophy as well. Naturally, my eyes lit up. Another trinket for me? Heck flippin’ yeah!!! This cheered me up quite a bit. Why was I a little down?

I had been led on to believe this would be the biggest day of my young career. So, I wanted to look good in and out of the ring. Now, my favorite brand of shoes were Nike with any Reebok Iverson’s coming in a close second. One of my favorite shoes were the immortal Nike Cortez Classics. In the hood, we affectionately referred to them as Dopeman Nikes. I already had a fresh blue pair. So what does my big-footed ass do? I buy a WHITE pair!!! Now, a white pair of shoes is a cardinal sin for people with big feet. And being that my feet are a size 15, I was no different. Still, I didn’t care. I was sharp as a damn tack, ya heard me? So I pulled up to the spot to fulfill my Real Wrestling destiny. I opened my door and stepped out of my car into…

…mud.

Yeah, the whole damn place was nothing but muddy from one end to the next. Said mud destroyed my days-old Dopeman Nikes with no restoration in sight. Randy pointed us to the space where we were to get into our gear. So now I had to walk across this enormous muddy barn to the other side. The changing area was OUTSIDE of the barn. Our locker rooms for the night were three of the tiniest campers/RV’s you’d ever see in your life. Can you imagine about 8-10 half-naked men fighting for space in a camper that had no lighting or mirrors in order to get dressed and perform for people in a barn?! Yep, such is a common occurrence on the wrestling version of the chitlin circuit. The three rings were positioned next to each other. None of them were the same height and all different colors from the rest. My only match that night would be a tag team match with a partner with whom I forget against The Georgia Cowboy and Billy the Kid. I never competed in the single title tournament and I honestly don’t think a champion was crowned that night. KI Elite (Mike Stratus and Jake Slater) were slated to become the first RWN Tag Team champions. They outright refused the titles before the match took place.

This night sucked completely. Once again, no one got paid. There was absolutely no order at all. Nothing about it made sense. The man event saw Rob Russo winning by pinfall over somebody. I salvaged the rest of the night by playing on the Jolly Jumper with the rest of the kids. Hell, it got more action that night than all three of those rings. This definitely ranks as the worst pro wrestling experience I’ve ever had. Randy would run another RWN show six months later where I would manage Preston Paradise to the RWN championship. Once again, there were guys from the feds mentioned before as well as people from the old IWA: Flashfire fed that gave us the late great Rahn Jordan and Johnny Love. That show went off and everyone had a good time. The only issue I had with that show was with the female wrestler Bambi (Selena Majors). That petrified, poofy-haired harlot spoke to everyone but me at every show I’ve done with her. I know people in the biz that know her and say nice things about her. I’m not one of them. Peggy Lee Leather was always cool as hell. Bambi was a different story. She’d stroll past me like her shit didn’t stink. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. She can play in traffic with a blindfold on for all I care. But that’s another story….


…for another blog.


Fin.