From Drew Blood: I arrive late from an autograph signing. The parking lot, the street, and the parking lot of the gym next door are co...
From Drew Blood:
I arrive late from an autograph signing. The parking lot, the street, and the parking lot of the gym next door are completely packed. It’s about 6:45PM- fifteen minutes until show time. As I arrive in the back, I hear Todd Sexton barking out orders. He’s obviously stressed, knowing what awaits him later tonight. You’d think, as matchmaker, he’d have the ability to save himself from his frequent butt-kickings. Oh well. I see David Manders and ask about the crowd. He says he’s sold out of the 500 wristbands and there is still a line out the door. I ask about a little raise, but he says he has an emergency to tend to. Figures. Where’s my crew?
I head to our dressing area. I see The Approved in a huddle. I like these guys. There’s always a plan. I shake the hands of Damien Bennett and Conscious King Heru, along with the very lovely Maat Queen (did she just wink at me?). They look intense. Intensity is good, but they need to make sure they don’t burn out. Johnny Nixx is playing his guitar and David Ali is ranting about some other show. I make sure all these guys know I appreciate them. What’s Rob Adonis doing here?
JBE gets into our usual configuration. Camping chairs in a circle with Dr. Brock in the middle. We’ve got lots going down tonight. Tetchi is suspended, so we have to work around that. Jagged has Stryknyn. Stryk isn’t hard to beat, but he’s impossible to kill…and sometimes beating him requires killing him. So, we need to think about a way to put his lights out.
I’ve got several prospects that require scouting-and a few examples to make. Beyond that, I ask Brian if I can be of service to him tonight. After all, that’s the big focus- Brian getting the title.
Brian breaks down his plan and confirms with everyone what’s going down. He’s a brilliant tactician. Dr. Brock gives us the breakdown- who is on security, who we can pay off, who is the referee…this allows us the chance to plan for any contingencies. We’re gonna need to be on our game- Billy Buck may look like a cowboy from The Village People, but he’s a top flight competitor who is focused and motivated. It’s not going to be easy. Everyone has to hit their mark and there’s little room for error.
I go to the bathroom. On the way, I walk by the other dressing room. It stinks in there. David Manders is playing cards with Jacob Ashworth. Some emergency, cheapskate. Xander Ramon looks like he might be counting his toes. Will Kaution looks focused…might be an issue. Marcus Cross is on his 5th can of hairspray and Griff is doing hindu squats. If I could figure out a way to get these guys away from Behrens, I’d be rich. Speaking of Bill Behrens, he’s on the phone making deals. I hear something about a hotel, 2,500 bucks and a trashcan full of Coors on ice. Dang…
Alan Angels is eating what looks to be a low-carb birthday cake. He’s just turned 21…that’s both ridiculous and impressive. Of course, he talks like he’s 12. “Ya boi”?? Gimme a break. Todd Sexton looks like he might puke. But, he’s wearing his late brother’s kickpads. That’s not good for The Approved. Todd’s no superman, but when he’s emotional, he’s dangerous. Maybe I should give them a heads up… Stryknyn is eating raw hamburger meat. That explains the stench.
Show starts a few minutes late. First match is out. Winners are underlined.
Damien Bennett and Concious King Heru (with Maat Queen) vs Xander Ramon and Will Kaution.
Both teams make their entrances, but I like Bennett and Heru. Both are intense and they work together flawlessly. Will and Xander are still in the midst of their bromance, but I figure I can shake them out of that. I decide to make my entrance. I send notice to hit my music to Adam Vance, but like always, he screws it up. Maybe we need to put him on our payoff list.
I make my entrance to a thundering ovation. The building erupts in a “Drew Blood” chant. I can hardly get down the aisle with all the outstretched hands begging to touch my garments. I felt some power leave me. Who touched me?
I let both teams know that JBE is very interested in 3 of them. Xander Ramon has proven worthless and so will not getting a look-see from me. I inform them, as the great sportsman that I am, that I will be at ringside taking notes.
What a fantastic match! Damien and Heru and vicious and intense. They’ve got to learn how to reel that in. This match was straight from the height of 80’s WWF tag wrestling. Killer Bees vs Bulldogs. What a way to open the show. Xander, being the lazy frat boy, basically sits out most of it. Will is fighting for his life against a well prepared and ruthless team. Finally Xander tags in for about 8 seconds and then tags back out. I rag him a bit for his cowardice and he chases me to the back. I let him. What an idiot. His absence costs Will a pinfall.
I congratulate the winners, but I’ve seen all I need to see. I know what JBE needs. I offer Will Kaution a spot in JBE. He seemingly accepts before cheap-shotting me with a super kick. Bad move kid. The crowd boos him mercilessly for his poor decision. Will, you had a target of acquisition on your back…now it’s a target for elimination. See you in two weeks.
I come back through the curtain, making sure I have all my teeth. Dr. Brock and Jagged are making last minute preparations. Between the two of them, you have almost 50 years of tactical experience. What can go wrong?
Jagged Edge (with Dr. Joseph Brock III) vs. Stryknyn
What can go wrong? Stryknyn can. He’s obviously not eating natural hamburger meat. It’s from some kind of mutant cow. Stryknyn was taking the fight right to Jagged. But, he runs too much on anger and rage. No strategy. Stryknyn made a rookie mistake when he speared Jagged Edge. “The art of wrestling is the art of positioning.” It’s not about beating a guy up- it’s about being able to pin shoulders inside of those ropes. Strykyn hit Jagged with a brutal spear, but did it too close the corner. The impact made Jagged’s foot dangle on the bottom rope. Dr. Brock told Jagged not to kick out and save his energy. Referee Radar Martin made the three count, but after being given a new set of telescopic lenses, saw Jagged’s foot on the rope and restarted the match.
Stryknyn may be as tough as an ox, but he’s also half as smart. He went back to the well again and attempted a second spear. Just pulled up a bucket full of mud. Jagged met him with a knockout punch and a pinfall. I really like the new black glove Jagged wears to the ring. Very stylish.
Jagged leaned down to check on Stryknyn and out comes glory hound Jacob Ashworth. Ashworth is always trying to pick a fight. However, since there was no money in it tonight, Jagged passed. When he came back through the curtain, Jagged told me, “after intermission.” I nodded. Meanwhile, outside…
Rob Adonis (with Ryan Hart) vs. Jacob Ashworth
Now I know why Adonis was here. As the Phase 1 champion in the state’s top promotion, Ashworth is like a gunslinger who has to always watch his back. There’s always someone looking to make his name off his hide.
Adonis laid down the challenge and Ashworth accepted (of course, big dummy). The match was short, and brutal. Adonis is a middle and south Georgia wrestling legend and a beast of a man. He gave Ashworth all he could handle. However, he just picked the wrong time. Ashworth was fired up from his confrontation with Jagged and used that adrenaline to best Adonis. Maybe Adonis should’ve talked to Brock, first. When he came to the back, we gave him our card.
Johnny Nixx and David Ali (aka TheUprizing) vs Marcus Cross and Griff Garrison (aka The Master and The Machine)
I like The Uprizing, but they have too little what Bennett and Heru have too much of- focus. Sure, they have the ability. Sure, they hate Cross and Garrison (who doesn’t?). But, they’re not focused on Southern Fried right now. Nixx has dreams of rock n roll stardom. Ali is far too concerned with situations in places outside of Monroe. And that’s not going to cut it against the best tag team going right now. Bill Behrens has too much time and money invested in these guys to not have them primed and ready.
Oh yeah, this is a no DQ match. I found out because I was lounging on a ladder in the back, when Garrison came back, knocked me off, and carried it to the ring. Then he threw the dang thing from ringside, across the ring, right into Nixx and Ali. The team work and focus are too much. Uprizing…you guys got to get serious. I speak from experience. If you want to topple Behrens’s boys, you have to play for keeps.
Intermission -where some guys go out and sell pictures and other guys are instructed to stay in the back and not make any money.
Amazingly, Cross’s hair stayed in place through all the chaos. Intermission ended with Garrison and Behrens boring the crowd by presenting Marcus Cross and his little karate exhibition. Dr. Brock embarrassed Cross by easily breaking a board with his mind. Behrens, not liking his boys being exposed, instructed a pack of unruly, emotionally unstable children to attack Brock. I ran out and made the save. This was nonsense. The challenge was laid out. Next show, Marcus can put up his strip mall karate skills against the ancient ninjitsu of Tetchi Makuji in Southern Fried’s first ever martial arts exhibition.
The Approved (Adrian Hawkins, Kenji Brea, and a very unenthusiastic Bobby Moore) vs. Todd Sexton and Alan Angels (with Kelly Sexton at ringside for some reason)
Alan Angels was clearly the dominant force early on. However, the ring general Adrian Hawkins marshalled his forces and turned the tide. Todd Sexton was physically and athletically mismatched. But, I can speak from experience- that’s not what makes Todd so dangerous. Sexton is a combination of emotional hothead and ice cold strategist. It’s combustible and it’s hard to counter. Adding Kelly into the mix makes him even more erratic. The result was a roller coaster of a match. Brea was nearly split in half by a fall on the ring post. Angels does some kind of crazy athletic flips. Bobby looks conflicted. And Hawkins almost had everything under control until…
A completely uncalled for slap by Kelly distracts Adrian long enough for Todd to land a super kick. And a superkick from Todd Sexton is night-night. I’ve been there. Hawkins is going to have to figure out a way to neutralize the Kelly factor and get Todd to make a mistake. And he may have found a way. Todd challenged Adrian to a singles match with the fate of two of his closest relationships at stake- the freedom of Bobby Moore, or the bondage of his wife Kelly to The Approved. The next two weeks should be interesting at the Sexton house.
During all this Jagged and I tried to get into our dressing room to enjoy some Juarito’s Mexican sodas. I like the strawberry flavored. However, we caught Jacob Ashworth and security trying to steal them. Jagged and I handled the situation appropriately. Luckily, it was videotaped. You can view it all on the Southern Fried Fan Page (via Facebook).
Finally, our time had come. It’s been quite a while since JBE has been afforded a Southern Fried Heavyweight Title match. But, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry…
Brian Kane (the eternal PCW heavyweight champ) w/ Dr. Joseph Brock III vs SFCW Heavyweight Champion Billy Buck.
If you’ve ever doubted if Brian Kane is one of the premier wrestlers in the state, this match put an end to that. Of course, the same could be said for Billy Buck. It was a near perfect championship match. However, if you’re familiar with Buck in other promotions, you know he is a cheater and a vile, obnoxious human being. We planned that if Billy starting cheating, I would come out and make sure everything remained kosher.
Of course, not long into it, Buck started harassing poor Joseph. I cannot abide the abuse of my best buddy and went to ringside to protect him. Buck hit me from behind, hit Brian with the PCW title, held the ropes for leverage, and generally cheated his way into advantageous position. Legally blind referee, Radar Martin, missed several 3 counts on Buck, ultimately costing Brian the match. A fan distracted Brian and Billy got the win with a superkick and a super-fast count. Figures.
The fans of Southern Fried let Billy know what they thought about his tactics. There is currently a petition for Brian Kane to be declared champion by default. We shall see. Democracy is a slow process.
I was tired. I signed about 347 autographs and went home. Next show, we’ll be back full force…
I arrive late from an autograph signing. The parking lot, the street, and the parking lot of the gym next door are completely packed. It’s about 6:45PM- fifteen minutes until show time. As I arrive in the back, I hear Todd Sexton barking out orders. He’s obviously stressed, knowing what awaits him later tonight. You’d think, as matchmaker, he’d have the ability to save himself from his frequent butt-kickings. Oh well. I see David Manders and ask about the crowd. He says he’s sold out of the 500 wristbands and there is still a line out the door. I ask about a little raise, but he says he has an emergency to tend to. Figures. Where’s my crew?
I head to our dressing area. I see The Approved in a huddle. I like these guys. There’s always a plan. I shake the hands of Damien Bennett and Conscious King Heru, along with the very lovely Maat Queen (did she just wink at me?). They look intense. Intensity is good, but they need to make sure they don’t burn out. Johnny Nixx is playing his guitar and David Ali is ranting about some other show. I make sure all these guys know I appreciate them. What’s Rob Adonis doing here?
JBE gets into our usual configuration. Camping chairs in a circle with Dr. Brock in the middle. We’ve got lots going down tonight. Tetchi is suspended, so we have to work around that. Jagged has Stryknyn. Stryk isn’t hard to beat, but he’s impossible to kill…and sometimes beating him requires killing him. So, we need to think about a way to put his lights out.
I’ve got several prospects that require scouting-and a few examples to make. Beyond that, I ask Brian if I can be of service to him tonight. After all, that’s the big focus- Brian getting the title.
Brian breaks down his plan and confirms with everyone what’s going down. He’s a brilliant tactician. Dr. Brock gives us the breakdown- who is on security, who we can pay off, who is the referee…this allows us the chance to plan for any contingencies. We’re gonna need to be on our game- Billy Buck may look like a cowboy from The Village People, but he’s a top flight competitor who is focused and motivated. It’s not going to be easy. Everyone has to hit their mark and there’s little room for error.
I go to the bathroom. On the way, I walk by the other dressing room. It stinks in there. David Manders is playing cards with Jacob Ashworth. Some emergency, cheapskate. Xander Ramon looks like he might be counting his toes. Will Kaution looks focused…might be an issue. Marcus Cross is on his 5th can of hairspray and Griff is doing hindu squats. If I could figure out a way to get these guys away from Behrens, I’d be rich. Speaking of Bill Behrens, he’s on the phone making deals. I hear something about a hotel, 2,500 bucks and a trashcan full of Coors on ice. Dang…
Alan Angels is eating what looks to be a low-carb birthday cake. He’s just turned 21…that’s both ridiculous and impressive. Of course, he talks like he’s 12. “Ya boi”?? Gimme a break. Todd Sexton looks like he might puke. But, he’s wearing his late brother’s kickpads. That’s not good for The Approved. Todd’s no superman, but when he’s emotional, he’s dangerous. Maybe I should give them a heads up… Stryknyn is eating raw hamburger meat. That explains the stench.
Show starts a few minutes late. First match is out. Winners are underlined.
Damien Bennett and Concious King Heru (with Maat Queen) vs Xander Ramon and Will Kaution.
Both teams make their entrances, but I like Bennett and Heru. Both are intense and they work together flawlessly. Will and Xander are still in the midst of their bromance, but I figure I can shake them out of that. I decide to make my entrance. I send notice to hit my music to Adam Vance, but like always, he screws it up. Maybe we need to put him on our payoff list.
I make my entrance to a thundering ovation. The building erupts in a “Drew Blood” chant. I can hardly get down the aisle with all the outstretched hands begging to touch my garments. I felt some power leave me. Who touched me?
I let both teams know that JBE is very interested in 3 of them. Xander Ramon has proven worthless and so will not getting a look-see from me. I inform them, as the great sportsman that I am, that I will be at ringside taking notes.
What a fantastic match! Damien and Heru and vicious and intense. They’ve got to learn how to reel that in. This match was straight from the height of 80’s WWF tag wrestling. Killer Bees vs Bulldogs. What a way to open the show. Xander, being the lazy frat boy, basically sits out most of it. Will is fighting for his life against a well prepared and ruthless team. Finally Xander tags in for about 8 seconds and then tags back out. I rag him a bit for his cowardice and he chases me to the back. I let him. What an idiot. His absence costs Will a pinfall.
I congratulate the winners, but I’ve seen all I need to see. I know what JBE needs. I offer Will Kaution a spot in JBE. He seemingly accepts before cheap-shotting me with a super kick. Bad move kid. The crowd boos him mercilessly for his poor decision. Will, you had a target of acquisition on your back…now it’s a target for elimination. See you in two weeks.
I come back through the curtain, making sure I have all my teeth. Dr. Brock and Jagged are making last minute preparations. Between the two of them, you have almost 50 years of tactical experience. What can go wrong?
Jagged Edge (with Dr. Joseph Brock III) vs. Stryknyn
What can go wrong? Stryknyn can. He’s obviously not eating natural hamburger meat. It’s from some kind of mutant cow. Stryknyn was taking the fight right to Jagged. But, he runs too much on anger and rage. No strategy. Stryknyn made a rookie mistake when he speared Jagged Edge. “The art of wrestling is the art of positioning.” It’s not about beating a guy up- it’s about being able to pin shoulders inside of those ropes. Strykyn hit Jagged with a brutal spear, but did it too close the corner. The impact made Jagged’s foot dangle on the bottom rope. Dr. Brock told Jagged not to kick out and save his energy. Referee Radar Martin made the three count, but after being given a new set of telescopic lenses, saw Jagged’s foot on the rope and restarted the match.
Stryknyn may be as tough as an ox, but he’s also half as smart. He went back to the well again and attempted a second spear. Just pulled up a bucket full of mud. Jagged met him with a knockout punch and a pinfall. I really like the new black glove Jagged wears to the ring. Very stylish.
Jagged leaned down to check on Stryknyn and out comes glory hound Jacob Ashworth. Ashworth is always trying to pick a fight. However, since there was no money in it tonight, Jagged passed. When he came back through the curtain, Jagged told me, “after intermission.” I nodded. Meanwhile, outside…
Rob Adonis (with Ryan Hart) vs. Jacob Ashworth
Now I know why Adonis was here. As the Phase 1 champion in the state’s top promotion, Ashworth is like a gunslinger who has to always watch his back. There’s always someone looking to make his name off his hide.
Adonis laid down the challenge and Ashworth accepted (of course, big dummy). The match was short, and brutal. Adonis is a middle and south Georgia wrestling legend and a beast of a man. He gave Ashworth all he could handle. However, he just picked the wrong time. Ashworth was fired up from his confrontation with Jagged and used that adrenaline to best Adonis. Maybe Adonis should’ve talked to Brock, first. When he came to the back, we gave him our card.
Johnny Nixx and David Ali (aka TheUprizing) vs Marcus Cross and Griff Garrison (aka The Master and The Machine)
I like The Uprizing, but they have too little what Bennett and Heru have too much of- focus. Sure, they have the ability. Sure, they hate Cross and Garrison (who doesn’t?). But, they’re not focused on Southern Fried right now. Nixx has dreams of rock n roll stardom. Ali is far too concerned with situations in places outside of Monroe. And that’s not going to cut it against the best tag team going right now. Bill Behrens has too much time and money invested in these guys to not have them primed and ready.
Oh yeah, this is a no DQ match. I found out because I was lounging on a ladder in the back, when Garrison came back, knocked me off, and carried it to the ring. Then he threw the dang thing from ringside, across the ring, right into Nixx and Ali. The team work and focus are too much. Uprizing…you guys got to get serious. I speak from experience. If you want to topple Behrens’s boys, you have to play for keeps.
Intermission -where some guys go out and sell pictures and other guys are instructed to stay in the back and not make any money.
Amazingly, Cross’s hair stayed in place through all the chaos. Intermission ended with Garrison and Behrens boring the crowd by presenting Marcus Cross and his little karate exhibition. Dr. Brock embarrassed Cross by easily breaking a board with his mind. Behrens, not liking his boys being exposed, instructed a pack of unruly, emotionally unstable children to attack Brock. I ran out and made the save. This was nonsense. The challenge was laid out. Next show, Marcus can put up his strip mall karate skills against the ancient ninjitsu of Tetchi Makuji in Southern Fried’s first ever martial arts exhibition.
The Approved (Adrian Hawkins, Kenji Brea, and a very unenthusiastic Bobby Moore) vs. Todd Sexton and Alan Angels (with Kelly Sexton at ringside for some reason)
Alan Angels was clearly the dominant force early on. However, the ring general Adrian Hawkins marshalled his forces and turned the tide. Todd Sexton was physically and athletically mismatched. But, I can speak from experience- that’s not what makes Todd so dangerous. Sexton is a combination of emotional hothead and ice cold strategist. It’s combustible and it’s hard to counter. Adding Kelly into the mix makes him even more erratic. The result was a roller coaster of a match. Brea was nearly split in half by a fall on the ring post. Angels does some kind of crazy athletic flips. Bobby looks conflicted. And Hawkins almost had everything under control until…
A completely uncalled for slap by Kelly distracts Adrian long enough for Todd to land a super kick. And a superkick from Todd Sexton is night-night. I’ve been there. Hawkins is going to have to figure out a way to neutralize the Kelly factor and get Todd to make a mistake. And he may have found a way. Todd challenged Adrian to a singles match with the fate of two of his closest relationships at stake- the freedom of Bobby Moore, or the bondage of his wife Kelly to The Approved. The next two weeks should be interesting at the Sexton house.
During all this Jagged and I tried to get into our dressing room to enjoy some Juarito’s Mexican sodas. I like the strawberry flavored. However, we caught Jacob Ashworth and security trying to steal them. Jagged and I handled the situation appropriately. Luckily, it was videotaped. You can view it all on the Southern Fried Fan Page (via Facebook).
Finally, our time had come. It’s been quite a while since JBE has been afforded a Southern Fried Heavyweight Title match. But, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry…
Brian Kane (the eternal PCW heavyweight champ) w/ Dr. Joseph Brock III vs SFCW Heavyweight Champion Billy Buck.
If you’ve ever doubted if Brian Kane is one of the premier wrestlers in the state, this match put an end to that. Of course, the same could be said for Billy Buck. It was a near perfect championship match. However, if you’re familiar with Buck in other promotions, you know he is a cheater and a vile, obnoxious human being. We planned that if Billy starting cheating, I would come out and make sure everything remained kosher.
Of course, not long into it, Buck started harassing poor Joseph. I cannot abide the abuse of my best buddy and went to ringside to protect him. Buck hit me from behind, hit Brian with the PCW title, held the ropes for leverage, and generally cheated his way into advantageous position. Legally blind referee, Radar Martin, missed several 3 counts on Buck, ultimately costing Brian the match. A fan distracted Brian and Billy got the win with a superkick and a super-fast count. Figures.
The fans of Southern Fried let Billy know what they thought about his tactics. There is currently a petition for Brian Kane to be declared champion by default. We shall see. Democracy is a slow process.
I was tired. I signed about 347 autographs and went home. Next show, we’ll be back full force…
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