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"I am a wolf and I will lead your pasty white ass all the way to the abbatoir and you will not walk out of Havoc alive."
From Lawrence Goodman:
Wicked Havoc is upon us.
This was a banger of a go home episode. It sold me on a show I didn't have strong feeling about.
The show closed with spellbinding back and forth on the mic between ProSouth Champion Joe Black and Cameron Keast, who will challenge him for the title at Wicked Havoc. This segment was so strong that there is now an element of doubt as to whether Joe will retain.
We have intrigue surrounding the ProSouth Championship. Whoever comes out of Wicked Havoc with the title has Caeden Ooten waiting for him at Anniversary and Ayden Andrews can cash in the Gold Rush briefcase at any time.
Other matches were made or hinted at for Wicked Havoc as you will see if you read on.
And we got a title change. Joe Wood upset Julian Balderas to become the new All-Out Champion.
I like the way the roster is shaping up, especially when there are more hands on deck as there were on this episode.
It's no secret I am often not a fan of the undercards on ProSouth. I loved this one. Every segment overperformed.
Wicked Nemesis and Mathias Darkthorne on commentary with Darkthorne doing his his usual double duty as ring announcer. Cody Clonts was the ironman referee. Emma was the ringside videographer.
(1) Quick Fixx (Oliver Green & JACS) & Julius Pryor defeated President Lose Brantley (with Jasper Reid) & Cross Country (Sean Nelson & Christian Garrett) in 7:08. Brantley got his ass handed to him. The President went to commentary to issue Executive Order #3: Pardoning himself from the match and inserting Reid in his place. With Nelson leading the way, Green took another wicked beating from Cross Country. Cross Country hit End Of The Line (double team power face plant) on Green. Brantley put himself back in the match much to the confusion of Cross Country. JACS dropkicked Brantley into Cross Country and rolled up our beloved President.
The political satire of the finish ruled. It was also well executed. Green and JACS have some newly found chemistry as a team and it works to the benefit of each. The more I see of Cross Country, the more I like.
(2) Jabari Jaku (with Raheem) took a minute 20 to defeat Tiger Mask 6 7 in this week's Poo Butt Challenge. Raheem called for the next poo ass joker to come out of the locker room to take an ass whipping. Jaku had Tiger Mask beaten after the first choke slam. Raheem ordered Jaku to take him up again. Raheem said still not enough. Jaku delivered choke slam number three and pinned Tiger Mask with two hands pressed on his chest.
Raheem and his monster Jaku make a marvelous throwback act. I loved the ProSouth rule of three being put in play. Raheem's suit was something else. The sheer belligerence the man displays makes him stand out among heel managers.
Caeden Ooten (with Harley Haven) said last week he called for the biggest cat in the locker room (and got Tiger Mask). This week he wanted a worthy competitor like Bane for Batman. Out came Colt Bane.
(3) Caeden Ooten (with Harley Haven) defeated "The Power Thrashing Punk" Colt Bane in 1:52. Bane jumped Ooten from behind and gave him a Saito suplex and a coast-to-coast dropkick. Ooten kicked out at one. A fierce punch in the face was the beginning of the end for Bane. Ooten pinned him after delivering a springboard Superman punch.
Pitch perfect. Bane's hairstyle was awesome (balding in the front, mullet in the back). Ooten didn't even need to use his regular finisher to beat him. ProSouth has needed a few select enhancement talents like Tiger Mask and Bane. There have been times when talents being pushed had to take Ls due to lack of available bodies.
Wicked announced he would be hosting a new interview segment starting next week called Something Wicked with number one contender, "The Red Rocket" Caeden Ooten as his first guest.
Douglas Sanders video. Filmed in the parking lot of the RCW Arena in Chatsworth. Sanders was sitting in the cargo area of his hatchback. Some doofus buddy of Sanders was in the shot fiddling with his phone. Sanders glorified his return to ProSouth. He boasted about hitting Donnie Primetime with his megaphone and claimed it was the most viewed episode of Recharged ever. A chair came flying at the head of Sanders' buddy. The chair flinger was Primetime in Joker make up. Primetime booted Sanders in the face, bashed him in the head with the megaphone and dumped him in a casket that just so happened to be sitting in the parking lot. Primetime said they had a time and place -- next Friday, Wicked Havoc -- and shut the lid of the casket.
Loved everything about this: Sanders' incredible obnoxiousness, the random guy just standing there minding his own business, the chair flying in before Primetime came into view, the incongruity of the casket in the parking lot.
(4) AJ Black defeated Eli Riley in 5:38. AJ tried to take command but Riley wasn't having it. AJ fled the ring. Riley tried a punt kick. AJ blocked it and dropped Riley face-first on the apron, then planted Riley on the floor with a charging STO. Back inside, AJ punished Riley with strikes and a shotgun dropkick off the middle rope for a two count. AJ signaled Riley's night was over. But Riley reversed AJ's brainbuster with an inside cradle. Riley didn't get all of a Claymore style kick but enough to leave both men down. Riley's comeback built to a springboard cutter. AJ kicked out of Riley's delayed cover. His spinning backfist connected and it was lights out for Riley.
AJ brings reliably solid match quality to the table. Hs spinning back fist finisher looked tremendous. Match was just competitive enough. Riley is skinny as a rail and rough around the edges but there's something there.
AJ said he didn't have to answer why because he already knew the answer. The Pretty Boy trusts The Process.
Scott Adams video promo.
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Adams said AJ had a perfectly good seat in the life raft and jumped back on the sinking ship known at the Process and now he wanted to challenge the iceberg that put holes in the ship. AJ was a pawn they didn't need to take to win the board but they would take it because they wanted to.
The Majora Mask video faded to black for intermission.
Best Scott Adams promo ever. No excess verbiage, sinister, calculating, and perhaps a further foreshadowing of his heel turn. Adjacent to Keast and Harley, he and Ace were the one playing 3-D chess not The Process.
(5) Poo Butt Challenge: Jabari Jaku (with Raheem) defeated fake Tiger Mask 6 7 (Julius Pryor) via DQ in 42 seconds. Tiger Mask was obviously Pryor. He took the mask off and punched Jaku in the dick. Jaku crumbled. Commentary noted this marked the third time Pryor had felled Jaku with a low blow.
Raheem was furious. Good thing he put the mic down because he had already gone too far.
Rule of three again. Color me curious about what a real match between these diametrically opposed talents will produce.
(6) Joe Wood defeated Julian Balderas to win the All-Out Championship in 9:23. A test of power spilled to the outside. A rugged brawl ensued making use of the ring posts and the 20 count under All-Out rules. Wood planted Balderas on the edge of the ring frame, not a fun bump to take. Wood's crude brutality took hold. Balderas pounded lumps on Wood and tried for a discus lariat. Wood countered with a stiff short arm lariat. Balderas was rocked legit. They traded dropkicks (WTF?). The battering continued. Balderas hit a running splash to Wood's back. Wood caught Balderas with a cutter as he sprung off the ropes for close near fall. Balderas countered Wood's choke slam attempt and leveled him with the discus lariat. Wood kicked out at the last split second. Balderas set up Project Mayhem. Wood rolled out of the way and connected with the the human torpedo headbutt for a 2 and 15/16. Wood locked in the full nelson. Balderas was almost done before he summoned a burst of energy. Just as Balderas was about to power out, Wood rolled him up with handful of tights.
A super physical hoss fight, the likes of which ProSouth rarely features because they don't have many hosses on the roster. No outside interference to diminish the title change. For sure, this was one of Wood's best matches. Both of these guys are virtually indestructible but they were showing the effects of this encounter.
Joe Black (with Amy Haven) and Cameron Keast Face-To-Face: Amy repeated her line: Of all the ways to choose to die, at the hands of Joe Black. Keast cut her off and said in the world of indy pro wrestling, what better way could there be? Keast demanding an answer from Joe about his challenge. Joe said Keast wasn't ready. Perhaps Keast was making the challenge to impress Ace Haven or a bunch of idiots that write for a website in a state Keast doesn't even wrestle in. Maybe he wasn't ready but Joe helped him that. Keast quoted a line from a Joe Black promo: "If you don't come prepared to kill me, you better come prepared to die". Keast said he was prepared to do both. Joe said knew in Keast believed that. Joe wasn't buying the stuff about TragiCK being controlled by Amy's collar and the different color lights. Joe believed TragiCK was who Keast really wanted to be. Keast wanted to be the bad guy. He wanted to be the grim reaper, the killer.
"For the last 10 years, I've been asking fate to take me. I'll go gentle into the good night. I don't rage against the dying of the light because I'm tired, bubba and that's not a gimmick."
All Keast had to do was beat him and win the title and the valiant hero stands triumphant. "Are you really a hero though, Jason Todd?" Or was Keast a villian?
Keast said maybe Joe was right, maybe he didn't need the collar, maybe those are things he wants to do.
"You know what I am deep down inside, more than just another white guy that needs a haircut and a tan, I'm a monster."
Keast said maybe there was a piece of him that misses TragiCK and wants to relapse and needs Joe to beat him to the brink of death and bring that monster back. Keast pulled the mind control collar out of his jacket pocket. Maybe TragiCK wasn't a character or a mask. Cameron Keast was the mask, the character, the face he was forced to wear. Psycho Cam was the rush. Psycho Cam didn't care he was not appreciated. He just wanted to swing. "We don't give a damn why we do the thing we do, and I need that monster back, Joe." Joe could help him find that monster and if he did die, then buy him the piece of Joe's ass he was taking with him.
Joe was taken aback. He'd been totally calm and collected, amused even and now he was losing his cool. Amy stepped in. Joe set her aside. Keast welcomed him with arms outstetched. Joe held up Big Blue and left the ring to Keast.
Suspension of disbelief was achieved for some wild stuff thanks to incredible performance by Joe Black and Cameron Keast. The outcome of the match is no longer a forgone conclusion. The disparity in their in-ring ability matters not. Black may have encountered a force darker than his own. Joe and Cam were clearly enjoying matching wits. I left out Keast's ad lib line about being shafted out of the performer of the year award.
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