If only we could trade you for those who really perished. But regrettably, we're stuck with you, so Imma give you a ceremonial death. Rest in peace to the Incredible Huck: The career that never got started, for the wrestler who never should have laced up a pair of boots, who loved to tell greenhorns they needed to burn their boots, you should burn yours with yourself still wearing them...Henceforth there is no William Huckaby, just the ghost that used to be William Huckaby. You died a long time ago, I just put the final nail in the coffin."
--Joe Black
From Lawrence Goodman:
This was the Recharged Lite version of ProSouth Wrestling - four matches with a run time under 90 minutes. The focus was next week's Battle Rumble event.
-- Caeden Ooten won Queen's Gambit to secure the final entrant spot for Battle Rumble. Ace Haven made his return to the ring, a mere six weeks after suffering a seizure and multiple facial fractures. Ace and his best buddy TragiCK will start the BattleRumble.
-- Two title matches were put in place: Black vs. Donnie Primetime for the ProSouth Championship and Oliver Green putting the All-Out Championship on the line against and Christian Pierce.
-- Ayden Andrews and JT Paradox had a banger of an eight-minute match.
-- The Poll on a Pole match was a perverse wrestling entertainment classic.
Commentary by Wicked Nemesis and Mathias Darkthorne with Darkthorne doing double duty as the ring announcer; Referees: Joseph Void and Cody Clonts; Jeremy was the ringside videographer.
An "In Memory of Will Huckaby" graphic preceded the opening montage, followed by a brief intro from the commentary booth by Wicked and Mathias.
(1) Poll on a Pole: Jon Averson defeated Lose Brantley to become the official President of ProSouth (or whatever) in 6:41. Boxes on top of two poles. One box contained a US flag. The other contained something else. The competitor that got the flag was the winner.
A box fell off a pole in the opening spot. Clonts wedged the box between the turnbuckles. "Close enough", Wicked said. Dimitri/Jasper Reid came out to help Brantley. They wailed away on Averson with cookie sheets. Dimitri blasted his comrade in the dome with a cookie sheet that was in no way intended for Averson. Brantley did likewise to Reid. Averson's simultaneous cookie sheet shots barely made contact. Averson went for Box #1. Reid cut Averson off and opened the box. Mysterious white powder exploded into Reid's face. Brantley climbed for Box #2. A tower of doom concoction ended with Reid powerbombing Brantley. Averson got to the box, which somehow dropped to the floor. Referee Clonts called for the bell before Averson could get the flag out of the box.
Stupid comedy gold. Even by ProSouth's high standards, the blowoff of this feud was perversity in the extreme. Bonus points for the reference to the ricin powder incident. Brantley has become a virtuoso at this stuff.
(2) Ayden Andrews defeated JT Paradox in 8:03. Andrews sucker punched Paradox coming out of a clean break. They traded blows. Paradox rocked Andrews with a right hand and launched him with a release german suplex. Andrews snapped the rope into JTP's face and hit a draping DDT for a two count. Andrews pounded away on JTP's head. Wicked brought up the (worked) concussion Paradox suffered in his last ProSouth match. Andrews was grinding away and Paradox was showing the effects. Andrews threw a chop that sounded like a shotgun blast. Paradox turned the tables with Kobashi-style chops and leveled Andrews with the Kydo Lariat. Andrews kicked out but he was in trouble. Paradox went for an ankle lock. Andrews with an enzuirgiri counter and looking for Nail In The Coffin. Paradox tripped Andrews up and applied the ankle lock. Andrews was trapped in the center of the ring but was able to power out of the hold. Andrews took another shot at Nail In The Coffin. Paradox caught his leg and hit the Brick Bomb (a stalling fisherman suplex). Andrews kicked out at 2 and 15/16 per Wicked. The fought up with a strike battle. Andrews wobbled Andrews with a rising knee and dropped him with a right hand. Andrews tripped Paradox and went right to Nail In The Coffin for the win.
Chef's kiss. Thank you, ProSouth for booking this match. Check out Andrews' sells of Paradox's punches and the seamless transitions. Paradox is a rising star. He is adding to his game with every match. If wins and losses matter, Andrews is the next ProSouth Champion AND he has the Gold Rush briefcase.
The broadcast team hyped the Members Only featuring Raheem and Jabari Jaku's Poo Butt challenge.
(3) Christian Pierce defeated JACS via DQ in 6:39. Pierce beat the hell out of Oliver Green before the match. Green was toast after taking Once Bitten. Pierce was contemplating a punt kick when JACS intervened with a shotgun dropkick.
The highlight of JACS' early offense was a huracanrana off the apron. Pierce's powerbomb turned the match around. He decapitated JACS with a Stan Hansen lariat and gave him a pedigree (Endgame in ProSouth lingo). Pierce was going for the punt kick when Green tackled him out of nowhere for the DQ. Pierce retreated to the stage to have his hand raised.
Green said enough with the bullying. He wanted Pierce in a title match at BattleRumble.
Pierce beat up two babyfaces in the same segment. Neither could handle him one-on-one. Creative must have some jiu jitsu up its sleeve for the match next week.
Joe Black's Will Huckaby Memorial Joe sent out a rest in peace to "The Butcher" Andy Williams. Death was nothing to play with so instead of a memorial, they were going to relive some of Huckaby's greatest moments.
A black and white video rolled with footage of Black putting Huckaby though a car windshield at SHW (GWH 2020 Match of the Year), followed by slow motion footage of Huckaby's botched attempt to do a suicide dive, wherein Huck banged his head on the ring apron as a bunch of wrestlers tried to catch him, followed by Black whipping Huck with his belt until he quit at Uprising two weeks ago. Black sarcastically referred to this mockery "exquisite".
Joe took back what he said when he grabbed the mic. Since the coronary issues didn't take Huck out, he was going to kill Huck's ego since his body did not take him from this mortal plane.
Bullet points from Joe's tirade:
-- Huck's only relevance was that he came to shows with Joe Black. While Joe was having a match for ROH at Centerstage, Huck was wearing a security shirt. When Joe worked for Booker T in Texas, Huck was getting kicked out of the locker room.
-- The only thing Joe would give Huck kudos for was being a good father. When it came to being a man in the ring, Huck was an overstuffed, overweight baby back bitch. "Your career highlight is me putting you through a windshield, Bubba".
-- Huck shot on Murder One about being old (during their promo segment on ProSouth leading into the I Quit match). What about the night Huck in Canton whendidn't want to fight Murder in the parking lot?
-- When Huck and that bald-headed white dude he used to tag with got told they shouldn't be booked, it was Joe who revitalized his career.
-- Joe liked to exclaim, "Can you whoop me?" Joe quite literally did.
No punches pulled. Black's promo buried Huckaby six feet under the ProSouth Palace. The video "tribute" would have been brutal enough on its own. This was unforgiving. If it was done for storyline purposes, Joe had this writer fooled.
Donnie Primetime promo. The gist of it was this: Joe Black was a problem. Donnie didn't have a move that could beat Joe but he was a problem solver. He didn't know how but he would find some kind of way to beat Joe.
Andrews tried to waylay Primetime. Donnie cut Andrews off but Black nailed Primetime from the blind side. Joe teed Primetime up and put him down with a single measured forearm. Primetime hit the mat face first.
Primetime sounded anything but confident about his chances and why should he? A snowball has a better chance of surviving hell.
(4) Queen's Gambit: Caeden Ooten defeated YouTube Champion Ace Haven (with Scott Adams) and TragiCK (with Harley Haven) in 5:50. Ace and TragiCK enter Battle Rumble first. Ooten enters last. Showing wanton disregard for the well-being of other humans, Tragick punched Ace in the face, broken bones and all, and went after Ooten's damaged shoulder. Ace hit the Ace Cutter on Ooten. TragiCK flew in with a headbutt to break up the pin. Ooten gave Ace a spinebuster slam. TragiCK delivered a running knee to Ooten's shoulder to break that up. TragiCK hit Bloody Tears on Ooten and laid Ace out with Keast Infection. Ace and Ooten both kicked out of pin attempts. Harley robotically entered the ring. TragiCK pointed at Ooten. Harley threw the fire but it went into TragiCK's face instead of Ooten's. Ooten then pinned TragiCK with Loaded Gun Complex.
Match was fine for story advancement purposes. Ooten gets to enter BattleRumble because of Harley but was her fireball to TragiCK accidental or intentional? Ace looked rusty and skinnier as would be expected after a forced period of inactivity.
TragiCK was seething. Ooten appealed to Harley. Emotionless, expressionless, she is dead to him and the world.
